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this is something you all need to read!!!lol.

Phone Menu at the Mental Health Institute

Hello, and thank you for calling the Mental Health Institute

If you are  obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you have multiple personalities then press 2,3, and 4.

If you suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, press 5 but do it v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y and carefully.

If you are dyslexic, press 6. Now press 9, Now press 6. Now press 9. Now press 6.

If you are delusional, press 7 and you call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you have short term memory loss, press 8. If you have short term memory loss, press 8. If you have short term memory loss press 8.

If you have schizophrenia, listen very carefully and a small voice will tell you the number to press.

If you have a nervous disorder, fidget with the hash key untill a representative comes on the line.

If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press a number for you.

If you are depressed, dont bother to press any numbers. No one will be able to help you anyway.

If you are paranoid, you dont need to press anything. We know who you are. We know what you want, and we know how to reach you.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, please hang up becaouse all our operators are too busy to talk to you.